stories mix posted on facebook:
oct: <3 my mom <3 should find a STRONG BOY in Berlin when
she is coming soon* I haven´t seen her since more than 2
1/2 years* ... now I´m in the 4th week doing exercises on
a daily basis at home* my trainings weights are 4.745 kilogramm
fabric coniditioner bottles =D
oct: who is Pete Burns ? who is *Dead or Alive* ?
it happens that someone lives in a different world. not everyone
knows everyone and everything. Never in my life I heard or realized
the name *Dead or Alive*. and also the name *Pete Burns* is a
name which ... perhaps I heard before, but not more.
And now Pete Burns died. And almost eeeeeveryone is posting how
great he was. WHY PEOPLE DIDN´T POST THAT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE
then I would have realized him before ... before he died.
oct: ^^ swag ^^ life is a journey* ... 42 paintings for each different
year of my life* ... and "1997" is already in L.A. ...
as I said before "life is a journey" :) :* <3
oct: about my technique of creating my paintings:
I found it by myself. no one teached it to me. I worked it out
and meanwhile I mix up several techniques. and also that mix up
is unique. and because no one did it that way before, there is
no "how to do it". everything I create with my technique
is done the first time that way. with my style: portraits, landscapes,
abstract, ... everything happens the first time. I feel like swimming
in a BIIIIG OCEAN where there is no end in sight.
this is why I produce and produce and produce ...
meanwhile I discovered, that there are painters in that world,
which paintings looks similar to mine. but no one of them is using
the technique which I am using.
this is why I keep my technique(s) as secret. a secret like an
italian pizza baker is keeping his receipt as secret*
oct: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... today I have chosen some pictures, when I photographed about
100 ... yes! ONE HUNDRED metal and hardcore bands ... in almost
every live club in Berlin* AMAZING YEARS <3 and I did wear
the mask on stage while photographing those great bands*
oct: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... watching about 150 000 !!! photographies ... means getting
reminded on 150 000 !!! memories* ... thaaaaat book is muuuuch
more work ... then I thought it would be. but I love it, because
I love <3 each one <3 who will be part of that book <3
oct: <3 Wish You Were Here <3 ... my life after Brian´s
death ... a life without Brian.
yesterday it was halloween and I decided to go to a party of
Brians´s loved friend Parker. Jared, one of Brians closest
and longest friends invited me to come there. Jared did DJ that
night and told me that it would also be a night dedicated to Fleetwood
Mac´s singer Stevie Nicks. Fleetwood Mac has been one of
Brian´s moooost favorite bands. he loved them and many times,
when I think about Brian, then I listen at home to Fleetwood Mac.
I wasn´t sure about it ... to wear my golden mask, because
I stopped wearing the mask with Brians death. only for very special
moments (it were about a handful of them in the past 2 1/2 years)
I wear it. on that halloween night I decided to wear it, because
I was sure that Brian would have loved that party and somehow
I had the feeling that ... on a way ... from veeery far away ...
he also "organized" that party.
When I came there I found a place in a quiet corner and it didn´t
last long, when someone next to me almost "whispered"
in my direction "are you Patrick?". I answered "yes",
but it needed a while till I recognized him, because he did wear
a very wonderful extravagant halloween outfit. I was very happy
to meet him, because we shared many beautiful moments together
... together with Brian. he continued talking ... with a slow,
sad voice "good to see you again with mask. ... it has been
a long time ago."
today I realized that for other people it feels like it happened
a long time ago. but for me it feels like as if it was yesterday.
I wasn´t able to find any distance ... from my years with
Brian ... till now. I know that I have to learn to live without
Brian, but it is very painful.
oct: okokok ... still faaaaar away from a muscle six-pack =P buuuut
I´m working on it* ... now in the 5th week doing exercises
on a daily basis*
oct: there is the NEW category "openings/presentations"
on my blog. since I stopped going for hard partying to BULLbar
up to 4times a week between october 2015 - september 2016 ...
I have time now *YEAHS* ... and I´m completely sober too
since about 8 weeks. after yeeeeaaaars I started again following
invitations to openings/presentations. ... and I can say, that
I LOOOOVE IT <3
pls find some news on my blog:
oct: ^^ HALLOWEEN KIDS ^^
always I give them something when they ring at my door. actually
... kind of I wait for them to ring at my door. because I did
something similar too when I was little kid (what exactly it was,
I will explain at the end of that story). the problem is, that
I wait for them to ring, but always I miss it to buy something
special for helloween before. that means that I give them what
I have here in my flat: normally a big chocolate and five euro.
but I tell them that they have to share it. last year there were
four kids who stood in front of me and one of them was the older
bigger sister. she took the chocolate and the money and took care
of it, that everyone gets something of it later.
THIS YEAR there were about seven little kids between the age three
to five with two adults taking care for them, but they stood some
meters away. I came late to the door, and when I opened, they
have been gone already. So I screamed and waged with the chocolate
in the one hand and the five euro in the other hand. then they
started to run in my direction. when they all stood in front of
me with holding their plastic bags open, then I said (as I do
it always), that they should share it later. but somehow they
ignored it, what I said. one of them grabbed the five euro and
ran away while screaming "I´VE GOT A FIVE EURO BANKNOTE!"
(and the operative word was "I"). in that moment the
other kids looked in the direction of the chocolate, and I did
hold it closer to that kid who ran first to my door but didn´t
give it to him. he looked uncertain in my direction and then finally
grabbed the chocolate. then they all ran away and followed that
kid which didn´t stop screaming, that "HE" got
I thought later about it and realized, that they will perhaps
later discuss and fight about what to do with the money, but that
kid with the chocolate will perhaps have the whole chocolate just
for himself, without anyone takes something away from it ...
when I was a kid I lived after the divorce of my parents from
age eight in Graz in Styria (yes, there where Arnold Schwarzenegger
comes from). there exists a custom which is named "Frisch
und G´sund" (fresh and healthy). this happens every
year on 28th december and little kids beat adults on a soft way
on their asses (of course while they have their trousers on) with
a self-made rod. while doing that the kids say "Frisch und
G´sund, Frisch und G´sund. Lang leb´n und G´sund
bleiben" (fresh and healthy, fresh and healthy. have a long
life and stay healthy). then the kids give the adults a piece
of the birch (I don´t know the name of it, but it is that
piece of the birch blossoms, when they get hard) and the adults
give a little money to the kids. the good thing about it is, that
the kids have to do something before for it, when they look for
the birch pieces. and the adults get something which gives them
luck and they can put it in their cars or whereever. I did that
(between the age of eight till twelve) mostly on parking places
of a big shopping center and earned about 150 euro with that.
that was a looooot of money ... 30 years ago for a little kid
and I came from a kind of poor family. my parents gave me love,
but they had not the possibility to give me really money. with
those 150 euro I bought within the following weeks: sweets, chocolate,
also magazines for kids and perhaps I bought even with that money
my first LP ... which was Madonna´s brandnew album "True
Blue" when I was 12
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... today I´ve chosen some more pictures, which I took ...
such as this one of Ivana Trump during her speech at Lifeball
nov: *about Berlin*
the book "the story of Master Patrick" will not fit
in any genre.
the book will be about glamour and trash ...
about hardcore bands and drag shows ...
about fetish and romantic ...
about royals and prostitutes ...
about parties and endless love ...
about art and politics ...
the book will just fit in one genre ... and this is: "BERLIN"
nov: *whooooiiii* ... and the 100th follower on my instagram ...
is a wonderful lady <3 ... who got attracted by my latest homemade
cake picture* <3 life is good <3
nov: MY <3 MOM <3 COMES TOMORROW at 10 a.m. to visit me
<3 she asked me what she should bring. and I answered "some
homemade dumplings "austrian style" and a new pot"
(she knows the story that one of my pots got burnt when I felt
asleep) I love my mom <3 and I know that she loves me too <3
I haven´t seen her since more than 2 1/2 years ...
nov: my <3 mom <3 with her first painting ... created by
her son* ... "1974" has been a veeeery special year*
... for both of us <3 ... and ^^WOW^^ she looks amazing for
nov: mygoal: being another person tomorrow ... then the one I´ve
been yesterday* "nomoreexcuses" ... now in the 6th week
of doing exercises on a daily basis at home* ... and that little
belly is a very good sign* because it shows that I started eating
too again* ... mygoals
nov: this world needs mooooore artists and YES! female artists
<3 I know what it means to have his first exhibition* when
you are in Vienna pls go THERE ^^ I know that lovely wooooonderful
woman Annemarie p'Art since about 28 years and I´m sure
that her art is worth it to look at <3
nov: just woke up* did I miss something?
nov: ... and what else happened today: I did bake an body exercise
supporting cake with joghurt and a looooot of Pitaya =P
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... most asked question right now: "when is the book finished?"
... original Berlin BER airport style answer: "first I thought
it´s done in september ... then it should be done in november
... and now I think it´s done in february" ... original
Berlin style :*
nov: btw: COPYRIGHT doesn´t exist for my paintings. that
means: you can copy/past ... share ... use them for your own purpose
... and whatever ... ... as much as you want.
nov: homeless kids in Berlin
it´s f*cking cold outside ... and yes, we discuss about
presidents in America ... about legends who died ... about supermoon
and every day and every night ... when I look outside of my windows
on the street ... then I see them ... uncountable homeless kids
... most of them between age 14 till age 25. they have nothing
more than the cloths they wear ... the same cloths every day and
every night. jackets which are made for summer and autumn ...
and not for temperatures around minus 3 degree. do you have any
idea how cold minus 3 degree can be, when you need to stand for
hours in that coldness? and shoes? ... the same: they wear thin
sneakers, which let them freeze their feet non-stop. most of those
homeless kids spend those hours as couples: boy with girlfriend,
boy with best male friend ... and some are alone ... always. they
need to be here. is it here the only place where they can get
sometimes some cents or one or two euros from someone. and sometimes
they sell their bodies for 20 euros and perhaps once a week it
happens that someone pays 50 euros. and yes! sometimes they steal
phones from drunken tourists, which they sell for 15 euro. they
need that money ... to buy that little bit of food what they eat.
they don´t eat a lot ... just sometimes ... something.
it is very difficult to help them, because almost all of them
are addicted into dr*gs ... cristal ... and other cheap bad dr*gs
from the street. some of them are also addicted in playing machines
... they need more money that much hard, that they believe that
if they put the only 10 euros they have ... into those machines
... that they will win. but almost always they loose. how they
loose their lives ... especially in hard cold nights as tonite
... and winter has not even started yet
nov: okokok* another <3 Brian-Tennessee Claflin <3 story
for you: before I met Brian, almost I never talked english. also
in school I was one the worst students in our english lessons.
Brian worked as english teacher in Istanbul before he came to
when we met eachother in 2007 then he was literally my english
teacher. he teached me how to talk english. I used the same phrases
and words as he did, because I knew no others in the beginning.
for example: I just knew "good" and "great".
all other words Brian teached to me: "fabulous" "awesome"
some months before his death I said to him, that I need a new
word to use. when I said that, then he looked straight forward
thinking, how a teacher does it. and after some seconds he turned
his face in my direction and said to me ... while he pronounced
it in his very special way ... : "glitzy"
it was the last word which Brian teached to me ... and everytime
when I use that word, then I think about him <3 ... and I love
to use it <3
*glitzy* *glitzy* *glitzy* :*
nov: now in the 7th week doing exercises on a daily basis at home*
... and: NEVER SKIP LEG DAY =P
nov: +++ WARNING +++ pls only continue reading, when you are into
spiritual and meditativ stuff:
it´s supermoon and for a hardcore spiritual person as I
am ... this is a very special day. I grew up in the middle of
the black forrest and like every other person with a lot of nature
around ... I believe and know about the power of natural things.
my day today was like this: taking a long sun bath to fill up
my body and soul with energy. (in Berlin we had a cloudless sky
today). in the late afternoon I took a long bath for about one
hour. that moon is moving our oceans ... and he is moving the
water in our bathtubes too! some candles, some cafe del mar music,
a natural sponge (oh yes, those sponges have absolutly incredible
power. the science is just at the beginng with research about
natural sponges.) and perfect is the situation to go into a deeeeep
meditation. I thought about eight or nine different things and
let all the dirt in the water. not just my body ... also my soul
felt clean after that bath.
and now I´m burning some things on a hot coal. I have about
80 different roots, leaves, resins, balms,... here. (if you know
the power of a j*int, then you should try those things! not just
Cleopatra was in love with that stuff <3 ) today I burn Elemi
(a resin against bad energies), amber (some luxury for that supermoon
night) and Patchouly (you may know it from parfums. and yes! it
is for an erotic purpose, but also to bring the body and soul
back on the ground/earth). normally I wanted also burn Himalaya
cedar (for power), but I can´t find it*
then I will cut my nails on my fingers and toes. it would also
be a good day to cut or shave hairs. let yourself go into a new
period of your life ... after that full-moon night.
if you have questions, pls ask me. best on an open studio wednesday.
you can talk with me always about art, but about spiritual stuff
too ... and OH! of course also about cooking and baking cakes
enjoy supermoon ... feel it ... and take it <3 LOVE <3
nov: THANK YOU for being the first four of the serie "100
portraits in oil on canvas Patrick Bartsch style*" LOVE YOU
4ever <3 Nathan <3 Krista <3 Mario <3 John <3
nov: THANK YOU for being in the serie "100 portraits in oil
on canvas Patrick Bartsch style" love you forever <3 Matt
<3 Johnny <3 Florian <3
nov: <3 one painting in oil on canvas Patrick Bartsch style
FOR FREE for eeeeveryone <3
in numbers: in my beginner years I produced more than 500 paintings
in oil on canvas. 120 got sold. and now I want to give away as
present about 200. if you missed the text I posted yesterday ...
I put it again here in the comments*
you can also bring friends here <3 please help me to empty
my storage ... to have space for my new paintings which I plan
to create in 2017* :*
nov: buuuuuusy checking out latest SADO OPERA videos on youtube*
WHAT A GLAMOROUS GLITZY BAAAAAND <3 :* :* :*
nov: ^^ 200 paintings for free ^^
so far ONE friend came here to pick up his "early christmas
present". I´m very happy that he came here <3 and
at the same time I´m wondering why no one else came here
so far* ... are my early paintings thaaaat much bad :( ... if
no one comes here to pick them up till end of december ... then
... then ... theeeeen I WILL EAT THEM =D
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... just brought 765 ... seven hundred sixty five ... photograhies
in the right size. ... and now I put them in the right chapter.
and YES! I let them aaaaaaallllll in the book. it´s not
a printed book ... it will be a book in the internet and HERE
is enough space for 765 photographies of Berlin of the years 2003
- 2014* <3
nov: Patrick´s inner monolgues: a life to the extreme ...
that´s the life I´ve chosen and that´s the life
I want to life.
exactly one year ago I spent every moment possible in Berlin´s
most infamous bar "BULL". between october 2015 and september
2016 I named that bar my living room ... up to four times a week
... up to 20 hours non-stop. I did those things there, which people
do there ... I took those dr*gs there, which people take there.
It felt like diving in the pinkest cloud ever. I enjoyed every
moment and was aware about the danger too.
in september 2016, when almost I burnt down my flat ... I decided
to change my life. since that time I haven´t been at BULL
once ... didn´t drink one drop of alcohol ... and no dr*gs
too. I became that again ... what is a huge part of nature: a
workaholic. being busy makes me happy and gives me the possibility
not to think about things ... things I don´t want to think
I feel good and healthy. I´m happy that I "survived"
those months of being out of control. I wanted to know it. I wanted
to know what it means to party hard on the edge. and now I know
it´s saturday night ... exactly 10.41 p.m. I will go to
bed soon ... so I´m able to wake up early tomorrow ... and
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... it´s not thaaaat much easy to handle 765 photographies
and 22 chapters* love them aaaaalllll <3 :* <3
nov: now in the 8th week doing workout at home on a daily basis*
... and yes! I have fun while doing it :)
nov: okokok* caaaaaan´t hide the news* someone <3 veeeeery
special woooonderful <3 wants to have ... in any case ... the
book "the story of Master Patrick" as PRINTED version
in english and german. ... and he´s doing everything to
make that happen! ISN´T THAT WONDERFUL <3 :* <3
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... wonderful Rosa von Praunheim <3 belongs to the first people
who believed in me as artist ... when I came new to Berlin ...
we worked together in different projects and he allowed me to
portrait him <3
nov: so far ... aaaaaaalll of the christmas cockies which I made
today got burned *hmmmpppfff* ... I hope I can make some not burned
ones till 3 p.m. when the open studio starts ... *ggrmmmllllhpffs*
but the burned ones tastes delicious* ... I will eat them
nov: <3 Happy Thanksgiving <3
I´m thankful for being healthy*
I´m thankful that my parents support my way*
I´m thankful that I may life in Berlin*
I´m thankful to be sober since about two months*
I´m thankful for every little step to go*
I´m thankful that yesterday a professional bodybuilder visited
me and helped me how to do workouts right at home*
I´m thankful that I may work on those two projects: the
book and the 100 portraits*
I´m thankful that I may life a life as artist*
I´m thankful to be a painter*
<3 Happy Thanksgiving to eeeeeveryone <3
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... I did eeeeeverything for money ... when I came new to Berlin*
... at the long nights of the museums ... in the gay museum ...
body painting by Alexander von Agoston <3 ... I think that
was in 2005 ... and YES! in the book there will be the uncensored
nov: ^^ Null Prozent Zinsen ^^
WAS habe ich da heute im Fernsehen gesehen? Null Prozent Zinsen
auf Bargeldguthaben bei Deutschen Banken!
Das macht bei einer geschätzten Vierprozentigen Inflation
ein garantiertes Minusgeschäft. Wie sagte der Moderator treffend
"Jedermanns Geld wird aufgefressen ohne das man etwas dafür
... und zu diesem Zeitpunkt möchte ich als Alternative AUCH
die Investition in Kunst ins Spiel bringen. Also die Gewinnerwartungen
in meinem Fall sind auf jeden Fall gegeben. So wie ich Kunst präsentiere
... auf eine schrille, aggressive Art (weil mir das so einfach
Spaß macht), wird man garnicht darum herumkommen ... um
vor allem nach meinem Tod (wann auch immer das sein mag) ... daß
der Kunstwelt klar wird was ich da eigentlich in Berlin getrieben
habe UND dazu (geplante) mehrere tausend (mittlerweile bin ich
bei über 500) Gemälde in Öl auf Leinwand hinterlassen
habe. Die Gesellschaft (und besonders die Inhaber von meinen Gemälden)
werden sich über Geschichten wie, daß ich "200
Gemälde zum Verschenken angeboten hatte und so gut wie niemand
eines abholte..." ... krumm lachen. Ja, das werden die Geschichten
sein welche dafür verantwortlich sein werden daß meine
Gemälde in Zukunft ... vermutlich garantiert ... um einiges
mehr wert sein werden als die 30 bis 40 euro (für die meisten),
welche ich heute ... dieser Tage ... dafür verlange. Somit
bekommt man wohl (höchstwahrscheinlich) für meine Kunst
mehr Zinsen als auf der Bank ...
... und JA! diese kleinen Facebookgeschichten ... wie diese ...
schreibe ich auch ... um die Leser in der Zukunft ... in 20 ...
40 ... 80 ... 150 Jahren zu unterhalten und ihnen Freude zu bereiten
:) ... und somit geht auch ein lieber Gruß und "KUSS"
an meine Leser in der Zukunft <3 :*
nov: ^^ PJ HARVEY ^^
live on ARTE-TV now* ... I don´t understand her music,
but I´m open-minded to get her* PJ Harvey was Brian-Tennessee
Claflin´s ultimative idol when it was about music. this
fact makes her a part of my life. when Brian was alive I was wondering
why it´s her!? and also tonite I wonder why it´s her!?
I will continue listening to her music and will also go to a concert
(whenever one will be somewhere) ... and I will ask myself ...
perhaps forever ... why it´s her ... who made it as Brian´s
I like her but I´m not able to understand her ...
<3 PJ Harvey now live on arte tv <3
nov: Patrick Bartsch´s wisdom:
^^ the three steps of success ^^ ... and they are ok the way they
first one: people laughed about me*. when I started wearing my
mask in public, then a looooot of people have been laughing about
me. that was ok, because they made me feel that they realize me.
only with "good friends" it was a little bit painful
when they laughed about me. but my most important people stood
with me. ... aaand could be something more fun, than people such
as wonderful Tilda Swinton laughed with me together*
second step: people ignored me*. of course not everyone, but
in general I got ignored. by people around me, by media, ... this
happened about the past three years. but also that was ok, because
after years people laughed about me ... I enjoyed the silence
which happened when getting ignored.
and now I´m reaching the third step: people fighting against
me*. ... and also that step is ok, because after those years of
silence ... I´m really ready for some action ... I have
enough power to fight and discuss about my way of art and life.
of course not everyone is fighting against me, but the first crowd
is already on the start against me ... I can feel it/them already
... and actually I can´t wait for them to come* ... means
to me: 2017 and probably also 2018 and even 2019 will be my years
to fight and discuss.
... and when I made all those steps, then I´m finally ready
for some easy relaxed and chilled success*
what I want you to tell with that story, is: every step has his
reason to happen and the reason is good. don´t fear the
way to success! just go! laughing is fun ... the silence after
is good too ... and the fighting thing set´s all your power
free which one you gained while getting ignored.
Enjoy life* Enjoy success*
nov: 2016: a young man is wearing a skirt and people freeeeaaaaak
out^^ pls read the comments^^ my opinion is of course: <3 let
everyone life as someone wants to life ( Jaden Smith )
nov: "Männerakte sind selten in der Kunstgeschichte.
wenn sie welche haben, bitte rüberschicken. da freuen wir
uns!" sagt die Monopol Chefredakteurin Elke Buhr am Ende
Sososo ... dann meeeeeehr Männerakte liebe Künstlerkollegen/innen
nov: REAL PUNK !?
Patrick Bartsch´s opinion about: "Joe Corré
burning Punk stuff worth millions"
REAL PUNK would have been: to sell all that stuff and giving that
money to homeless hungry punks.
burning stuff makes no difference! BUT giving 100 euro/pounds/dollar
to a homeless hungry punk DOES!
and because almost no one does it: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN PUNK ...
nov: after the visit of a professional bodybuilder ... now I know
how to do workout right at home* 9th week*
nov: <3 Truman Capote <3 inspired me to do readings while
writing the book. he did it while writing his book "In cold
it will be the first reading in my life and it will be the first
for my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
<3 Everyone <3 is welcomed* see you soon <3 :*
nov: Truman Capote loves me <3
exactly 50 years ago ... on 28th nov 1966 ... the PARTY OF THE
CENTURY happened in New York City ^^ it was Truman´s party
... named "Black & White Ball" ... a party where
eeeeveryone needed to wear a mask. <= some hours ago I had
no idea about that fact!
I just discovered it because I will do my first reading in two
days. a reading which is happening because some days ago I realized
that Truman Capote gave readings before he finished his book "in
cold blood". I wanted to know more about that man "TRUMAN
CAPOTE". this is why I check him out since hours on youtube,
so far the only thing I knew about him was that he did parties
with Andy Warhol at Studio54 and that he wrote "breafast
While doing research today ... I realized why Truman is one of
the most fabulous and important writers of America ... or better:
the whole world!
it´s really mysterious that while discovering Truman ...
I find out that he gave exactly TODAY ... 50 years ago ... the
PARTY OF THE CENTURY in New York City ... and eeeeeeven the party
was about everyone wearing a mask. ... and I´m working right
now on a book which has as main theme: a BLACK & a GOLDEN
perhaps you know that I´m veeeeery into mediation and universal
energies stuff. all those coherencies today ... tell me one thing:
that Truman Capote´s ghost and soul is veeeeeery close with
me while working on that book "the story of Master Patrick"
... or perhaps he just wants me to realize: that he loves the
"THANX TRUMAN <3 for that awesome day with you today
... and when you have time ... then pls join the first reading
I will do (because of your inspiration) in two days ... on wednesday
7.30 p.m. in my studio :* "
nov: Patrick´s inner monolgues:
in two days I will have the first reading in my whole life. talking
in front of people has been a nightmare for me, when I needed
to do that in school. I stumbled, sweat, have been unable to concentrate,
... but my years at school happened maaaaany years ago and a lot
of things have changed since then.
this wednesday will be a day which I will remember my whole life.
it will be a very special moment, such as I had the first time
a full page story in a magazine, my face on the cover of book,
my first exhibition in Berlin, my first exhibition with my paintings,
the first time speaking in a microphone in front of 50 000 people,
the first night sitting at the door of PORKparty, the first night
in my own flat, ... ... and the first reading will belong to those
highlights of my life too.
most of all I will do it for myself ... it doesn´t matter
how many guests will join that event ... it´s not about
a "number" ... it´s about to happen!
till wednesday I will do nothing else than preparing myself. today
I relaxed and enjoyed my day with the work and life of Truman
Capote. tomorrow I plan to bake some vanilla cookies. will take
a looooong hot bath. will do some meditation. and nothing else.
all of wednesday will belong to the reading. preparing my flat
and studio. will choose the right cloths to wear. and will do
eeeeeverything to be completly relaxed till 7.30 p.m. ... when
the reading starts. I will film some minutes of that reading ...
for the people who can´t join the reading and for myself
to have a nice memory in the future*
nov: "morgen: Lesung ORIGINAL *Berliner
Art*. in seinem privaten Künstleratelier liest der Maler
Patrick Bartsch erstmals aus seinem in Arbeit befindlichen Buch
"Die Geschichte des Master Patrick". Vorbild für
diese Lesung während das Buch noch in Arbeit ist ... ist
niemand geringerer als einer der bedeutendsten Schriftsteller
des 20. Jhdts: Truman Capote, welcher ebenso den Tatsachenroman
begründete und auch hiermit die Basis für Bartsch´s
Buch "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick" setzte. Ein
Tatsachenroman über die glamourösen Nullerjahre Berlins.
Auf jeden Fall eine Lesung welcher man beiwohnen sollte, wenn
man an dem Schaffen in Berlin ansässiger Kreativer interessiert
<= so oder so ähnlich sollte es in einer Berliner Zeitung
nov: ^^ Tatsachenroman ^^
Mein ganzes Leben lang durfte ich tun was ich wollte. Ich war
immer in all meinen Entscheidungen vollkommen frei. Das bedeutete
aber auch, daß ich meist äusserst unbedarft in neue
Themen meines Lebens hineinschlitterte. Ich machte mir nie einen
Kopf über etwas was ich neu beginnen wollte. Der typische
Medikamentenbeipacktextleseverweigerer. Meist erst in meinem neuen
Umfeld hatte ich damit begonnen mich mit der aktuellen Thematik
auseinanderzusetzen. Somit habe ich vieles ... sehr vieles in
meinem Leben begonnen ... und sehr vieles davon nach meist kurzer
Zeit wieder beendet. Jedoch ein paar Dinge sind geblieben. Ich
zog neu nach Berlin und wußte nichts mit dem Begriff "Preussen"
anzufangen. Fing an mit Öl auf Leinwand zu malen und wußte
nicht mal wie man richtig mit einem Pinsel in Farbe eintaucht.
Jetzt arbeite ich an einem Buch. Schreiben tue ich schon lange.
Immer wieder mal etwas. Genau genommen liegen neben "Kleinkrams"
wie etwa 30 Liedtexte, unzählige Gedichte, Kurzgeschichten,
... sogar vier unveröffentlichte Buchmanuskripte in meinem
Lager. Mit dem Buch "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick"
werde ich einen Teil dieser Manuskripte mit dem neuen Buch, welches
ich bereits als Buchskelett fertig geschrieben habe, zusammenfügen.
Somit sind bereits etwa 500 Seiten quasi fertig. Nun ist es aber
bedeutend komplizierter und zeitaufwendiger fünf Manuskripte
schreibtechnisch ineinanderzuschieben, als vielleicht ein komplett
Neues zu schreiben. Jedoch habe ich mich bereits für erstere
Variante entschieden. Das Einarbeiten von über 1000 Fotos,
von welchen ich 99,9 Prozent selbst fotografiert habe, erschwert
die Fertigung dieses Buches.
OH! Ich bin wohl etwas vom eigentlichen Thema abgeweicht. "Tatsachenroman".
Das Buch "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick" wird ein
TATSACHENROMAN! Bis gestern kannte ich diesen Begriff überhaupt
nicht. Bisher beschrieb ich dieses Buch immer lapidar als "ein
Buch über Berlin", was es ja schließlich auch
ist. Jedoch jetzt eine Kategorie gefunden zu haben, welche zu
den Schwierigsten in der Literatur gehört, hat mich erstaunt.
So wie ich über alles erstaunt war, welches ich lernte als
ich ohne jeglicher Vorkenntnisse in eine Thematik eintauchte.
Ich bin begeistert über alles was ich bisher neu über
Preussen lernen durfte und über alles was mit Öl auf
Leinwand zu tun hat und auf eine gewisse Weise ganz neu ... jetzt:
Zu wissen, daß "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick",
welches einen bedeutenden Zeitraum Berlins beschreibt, zu dem
Genre der Tatsachenromane gehört, fordert mich neu heraus.
Die relativ kurze Liste der Tatsachenromane auf Wikipedia hat
es in sich: "Der Kampf ums Matterhorn", Capote´s
"Kaltblütig", "Schindlers Liste", ...
Ich bin mir dessen bewußt, daß meine Thematik die
Größe besitzt um eventuell eines Tages ebenso in diese
Liste der Tatsachenromane auf Wikipedia aufgenommen zu werden
und ich werde alles dafür tun. ... was nichts anders bedeutet:
als mein Bestes dafür zu geben. Capote arbeitete sechs Jahre
an "Kaltblütig" und ich werde mir wohl auch Zeit
nehmen ... müssen ... um dieses Werk ordentlich fertigzubringen.
zwei bis drei Jahre ... vielleicht vier ... oder sogar mehr. Genau
deshalb gebe ich bereits jetzt schon Lesungen zu meinem Buch um
über den laufenden Stand zu informieren, Fragen zu beantworten
und um die Wartezeit kürzer erscheinen zu lassen.
und wer es bis hierher geschafft hat diesen Text zu lesen, der/die
wird sich dann bestimmt auch über das ganze Buch freuen*
Danke Sehr* ... und viellecht ja bis Morgen ... zur ersten Lesung*
nov: Ich habe beschlossen, daß "Die Geschichte des
Master Patrick" nicht nur ein Buch werden soll ... sondern
ein Werk. Das ist das Mindeste an Dankeschön was ich dieser
Stadt Berlin und all den wunderbaren Menschen welche mir hier
seit 2003 begegnet sind und mir die Zeit meines Lebens bescherten,
Das sind große Worte meinerseits, aber wie hat es meine
erste große Liebe vor 21 Jahren so schön ausgedrückt:
"Der Grund weshalb ich mich in dich verliebt hatte ... war
... weil du das tust was du sagst."
OH* ... und jetzt bin ich doch taaaaatsächlich etwas aufgeregt
wegen der ersten Lesung meines Lebens ... morgen abend*
und ja! die Lesung findet in deutscher Sprache statt. Natürlich
mit englischer Erklärung für etwaige rein englisch sprechende
nov: Meine heutige Lesung wird einleitend
mit folgendem Text beginnen:
"Mit einer leichten Sprechstörung, wessen Ursprung
wohl in meiner überdimensional großen ... langen wie
breiten ... Zunge zu finden war, welche sich meist unförmig
im Gaumenraum bewegte, bevorzugte ich es mein Leben lang eher
die Position des Zuhörers einzunehmen. Diese Jahrzehnte des
Zuhörens kommen mir jetzt beim Schreiben zu gute. Weiters
bin ich dazu verstärkter Legastheniker, welches bedeutet,
daß ich mich beim Verzählen ... *ähmmm* ich meine
natürlich "Erzählen" oft vertue und dies meist
eine sprachliche Korrektur verlangt. Beim Schreiben tue ich mir
mit den Korrekturen einfacher, da diese hier lediglich mir, ohne
jegliche Zeugen, auffallen."
nov: positiver Nebeneffekt dessen, daß ich mich jetzt auch
öffentlich zur Schriftstellerei bekenne ist: Das ich jetzt
endlich besten Gewissens so schreiben und sprechen kann wie ich
dieses möchte* ... vorbei die Schatten der Vergangenheit
wie mein Deutschlehrer welcher es hasste meine ewiglangen Sätze
lesen zu müssen und es mir schlichtweg untersagte lange Sätze
in Aufsätzen zu schreiben. ... und ebenso die Aufforderungen
mancher Gesprächspartner welche mich immer wieder ermahnten
"nicht immer so geschwollen daher zu reden".
JETZT als Nebenbeischriftsteller ... darf ich das! Es gehört
nun zu meinem Stil lange Sätze zu formulieren und diese dazu
noch "geschwollen" zu kreieren.
Es lebe mein neues Leben! <3
nov: Patrick Bartsch´s Offenes Atelier ist jetzt geöffnet*
Die Lesung beginnt pünktlich um 19.30 h* jede(r) ist herzlich
nov: Heute war die erste Lesung. Da ich während der Lesung
so sehr beschäftigt war, daß ich zu filmen vergaß,
habe ich jetzt noch schnell ein Video erstellt um die heutige
Stimmung festzuhalten. Danke Sehr an alle <3
nov: First public reading of the book "the story of Master
Patrick" Thank You a loooot to all guests <3 love you
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 1 * <3 THOMAS
<3 there were two important THOMAS in my life: both straight
and with both I´ve been in love <3 one has been my best
friend for about 25 years and with the other one I spent one of
the best and most intense month of my life ... yes* just one ...
only one month!
with both THOMAS I broke up the contact, because I loved them
too much. It hurt myself. I couldn´t get out of my skin.
But I´m veeeeery happy and thankful for each day and each
moment I spent with them together* Thank You <3 Thomas <3
dec: Patrick´s Innere Monologe:
was ist bitteschön "modernisch"?
Antwort: so etwas ähnliches wie "FREAKISCH".
<= Nein! das muß man jetzt nicht verstehen! "modernisch"
gehört zur Kindersprache. Ich habe es als Kind kreiert und
meine Mutter erklärte mir, daß es dieses Wort nicht
... und als lebenslanger VOLLSTURANARCHIST sage ich jetzt eben
"DOCH meine allerliebste Mama <3 ! modernisch gibt es!
... und zwar ab jetzt mehrfach in meinem neuen Buch "Die
Geschichte des Master Patrick"! ... und dazu sogar noch "UNMODERNISCH"!
=D <3 :*
dec: Vielleicht die wichtigste Lektion meines Lebens, welche mir
meine geliebte Mama <3 lehrte:
Ich war etwa 12 ... oder vielleicht auch nur 11 oder sogar 10
Jahre jung. Ging in einem Abstand von ein paar Metern Entfernung
mit meiner Mama und meinem Stiefvater spazieren. Es war es sonniger
Tag in der Stadt Graz wo nach der Trennung meiner Eltern ... meine
Mama mit mir hingezogen war. Es war eigentlich immer alles in
Ordnung mit meiner Mama, meinem Stiefvater und mir. An diesem
Tag spazierten wir zusammen durch die Stadt ... so wie wir es
manchmal anfangs taten. Es passierte auf einem breiten hellgrauen
von der Sommerhitze ausgetrockneten Gehweg zwischen einer vierspurigen
Hauptstraße und einem großen Autohaus. Wir spazierten
relativ rasch, wobei ich es nicht versäumte immer wieder
in Richtung der glänzenden Audi Neuwagen im Schaufenster
zu sehen. Solche Autohäuser gab es in dem 8000 Einwohnerdorf
mitten im Hochschwarzwald wo ich bis zu meinem achten Lebensjahr
lebte, nicht. Ich war im Wald glücklich, aber in dieser Stadt
Graz mit ihren über 260 000 Einwohnern ebenso. Ich lachte
viel als Kind und sprang auch etwas herum. Aber nicht so viel
wie andere Kinder, da ich eher ein ruhiges Kind war. Während
dem Spazierengehen sah ich natürlich ebenso immer wieder
zu meiner Mama und beobachtete wie mein Stiefvater dabei war etwas
in meine Richtung zu rufen, wobei sogleich meine Mama ihn am Arm
packte um ihn von seinem Vorhaben energisch abzuhalten.
*DOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG* ein schier unerträglich starker Schmerz
durchfuhr meinen Schädel und ließ beinahe meinen ganzen
Körper zusammensacken. Ich war gegen einen dieser riesigen
viereckigen Stahlpfeiler dieses Autohauses ... schlichtweg ...
gerannt! Mit schmerzverzehrtem Gesicht blickte ich in Richtung
meiner Mama und sah wie diese bestimmend zu ihrem Partner sagte:
"Sonst lernt er es nie!".
Die Beule welche aufzog war riiiieeeeesig und irgendwie fühle
ich diesen Knall heute noch welcher seitlich auf die Stirnseite
meines Schädels passierte.
Meine Mutter lehrte mir, daß ich mich durch nichts ablenken
lassen darf und wenn ich die Dinge welche sich in meinem Weg befinden
rechtzeitig erkenne, dann wird die Chance um ein vielfaches geringer
sein, daß mir etwas passiert. Zumindest etwas welches ich
mit vorausschauendem Blick in der Lage bin zu umgehen.
Meine Mama ist ein wundervolle Mama und ich Danke ihr von ganzem
Herzen für ihre Erziehung, welche bis heute noch andauert.
dec: Let's talk about art, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 2 * <3 TINA
Truman Capote had her
Karl Lagerfeld had her ("had" because she died some
maaaaaany others have her
and I have her too*
that one female best friend since eeeeeever*
"ever" means here 28 years
literally in good and bad times
always <3 TINA <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 3 * <3 MATHIAS
<3 there exist two important Mathias in my life* both are blond*
the one is my older half brother* I saw him just two times in
my life ... never talked to him ... but the day will come when
we will meet eachother and talk* ... the other Mathias is a supertalented
and wonderful artist friend* I´m very happy and thankful
for having him in my life* <3 MATHIAS <3
dec: INTERNET + MORMON CHURCH + MY ART
how do those things fit together!?
before the internet appeared on that planet ... people have been
left alone with their pain, joy, sorrows, dreams, ... It wasn´t
possible to say those things loud in public ... in a bus or in
a park or on the street. BUT in churches it was possible to talk
about such things. My mother became mormon, when I was a teenager
and she took me sometimes to the mormon church. I was phascinated
about that how every church service started: everyone who wants
to do it ... can go "on stage" ... and in front of all
the church members and talk loudly and in public about their pain,
joy, sorrows, dreams, ... . And because EVERYONE does it ... it
is normal to do that. those moments bring the members of the church
together on a very intense way ... and in a veeeeeeery good way.
with the internet WE ALL have now the possibility to do that too!
with the internet it is possible now! for everyone! and when we
all do it ... it will makes us feel better ... and for sure CHANGE
THE WORLD! we just need to get used to do it! I´m kind of
"trained" with that and when you read my postings sometimes
and look at my art ... then you will realize exactly THAT open
talking about my pain, joy, sorrows, dreams, ... I do that because
I believe in the good thing about that and want to motivate other
people to do it the same way.
we don´t need a building of a church to love eachother!
we should see the whole world as our church and the internet as
a new tool to make that world better <3
today I mentioned the name of my doctor, which is <3 Heiko
<3 he does a wonderful job with me since more than 10 years
... and I´m not easy to handle as patient ... with all my
ups and downs.
This year I create an advent calender where I will paint each
day a name of someone who made my life better* and I want to thank
those people and want other to know that wonderful peopel exist
... by telling their names <3 ... 20 more names to follow till
24th of december <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 4 * <3 HEIKO
<3 YES! my doctor since more than 10 years in Berlin* of course
Heiko belongs to the most important names in my life* ... and
he does a GREAT job^^ THANK YOU <3 HEIKO <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 5 * <3 PATRICK
<3 my ex boyfriend :* he showed me what glamour in Paris means:
private castles, private luxury boats, ... and even a ride with
a Rolls Royce in Paris* he was 23 y.o. and I was 19 y.o. * GLAM
<3 PATRICK <3 my ex :*
dec: <3 10th week <3 doing workout at home on a daily basis*
"it´s just a ride" :*
dec: " Ich kann Kunst. "
^^WHOOOUUUIOIIIII^^Geistesblitz^^ ... ist mir doch soeben meine
neue Philosophie in den Kopf geschossen^^ ... "Ich kann Kunst."
gefällt mir ja besser als "Kunst liebt." (welche
ich seit 13 Jahren bisher hatte). "Kunst liebt." klingt
ja doch sehr allgemein ... aber "Ich kann Kunst." hat
einfach etwas seeeeehr persönliches. und JA! ich finde diese
neue Philosophie passt zu mir*
"Ich kann Kunst."
wie ich darauf gekommen bin? : ganz einfach: nachdem ich die
ganze Nacht gearbeitet hatte, jetzt noch etwas Sport, ein kleines
Gemälde und ein Selbstportrait erstellt habe, ... hatte ich
mich gerade ins Bett gelegt und mir die Frage gestellt, was ich
denn eigentlich kann!? nach ein paar Minuten Verzweiflung, weil
mir nichts eingefallen ist, was ich wirklich kann ... ist mir
auf einmal "Ich kann Kunst!" als Gedankenblitz in den
Kopf geschossen ...
dec: "Was ist Kunst?"
... und weil´s gerade so schön ist, ist mir doch auch
gleich die Antwort auf die Frage aller Fragen eingefallen: "Was
Antwort: Im Moment in sich selbst und in/im anderen das Beste
zu erkennen und diese Erkenntnis wahrnehmbar (sichtbar/hörbar/fühlbar/riechbar/schmeckbar/...)
Das ist Kunst.
"Ich kann Kunst."
dec: <3 christmas stories <3 part
tomorrow I will visit an older straight couple original Berlin
style* they are poor, but they like to smoke a looooot ... chain
smoking* it´s always veeeery smoky in their living room.
they are very nice and make me laugh many times. I will bring
them a little painting as christmas present and will tell them
that on the painting they see the ocean, blue sky and some flowers
growing on a stone.
But in reality it is a painting of a grey Berlin street, where
some flowers grew out of a hole and in the back there is a blue
My paintings are not always about reality ... sometimes they are
about dreams. and I want that couple to look at that little painting
and makes them dream ... dream of something ... perhaps they will
never see in reality in their whole life.
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 6 * <3 KERSTIN
<3 I had some girlfriends and with Kerstin I have been together
longest ... for about six months* she was 30 y.o. and I was 19
y.o. ... she looked like a fat woman jumped out of a Rubens painting.
we had sex almost every day* she was awesome <3 KERSTIN <3
dec: <3 christmas stories <3 part
today I brought 23 of my paintings to my doctors Dr. Heiko and
Dr. Arne Jessen and the whole team <3
they take care about my health since 12 years. and I wasn´t
always easy to handle. it´s the minimum ... to give them
some of my paintings as present. that´s my way to say THANK
YOU to my wonderful doctors
dec: my paintings look perfect to me, when ... I´m able
to imagine appearing them in a Luchino Visconti movie*
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 7 * <3 GUNTHER
<3 my mentor <3 literally he picked me up from the street
at the age of 19. he was part of the Austrian high society. friend
of Falco, Luchino Visconti, ... he teached me that the basis for
everything is: STYLE^^ he teached me how to talk, to dress, to
eat, to organize dinner invitations, create parties, ... and to
believe in myself by knowing my own worth. Gunther died three
years ago, but he continues living in me ... by creating a big
part of me* <3
dec: art is: "At the moment, seeing the best in oneself and
in others, and translating these insights into something perceptible
(visual, audible or palpable), that is art."
*whoooouuuuiiiii* I love that quote which one I created yesterday*
I want to get remembered by words like those*
THANK YOU Jason Harrell <3 for that peeeeerfect english translation*
love it <3
dec: yes, it´s true ... I´m on my way to create a
brandnew person out of me^^ that means:
the way I talk will be different
the way I look like will be different
the way I dress myself will be different
the places I go out will be different
the style of my art will be different
my paintings will look different
my flat will look different
people who met me before will not recognize me ...
... even I will not recognize myself.
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 8 * <3 INGE
<3 my lovely aunt <3 may she rest in peace <3 she made
things happening for me ... which my parents couldn´t afford.
when my aunt took me in a restaurant, then I was allowed to order
a steak or a second piece of cake. in those moments she gave me
the feeling of being "special" as human being. I´m
very glad that I had her in my life <3 INGE <3
dec: chicken soup, drinking a lot of tea, whole day laying in
bed and couch, cancelled appointments, not able to meet my beautiful
lover, ... OH* it seems that I got sick :(
dec: "Berghain doesn´t fit to Berlin" <= yes,
that´s my personal opinion. A place which JUDGES people
by their faces! by their bodies! by their outfits!
That´s exactly the opposite of that what my art is teaching.
Everybody deserves to be loved! Everybody deserves that their
dreams become true! Everybody deserves to get treated as everyone
always ... I was and always I will be ... against actions which
ones part of it is that some people are "not good enough".
Berlin is the city of love and Berghain is teaching the opposite.
"Berghain doesn´t fit to Berlin"
dec: btw did I mention aaaalready that my new moooost favorite
song ... which I listen several times eeeeevery day ... is <3
Molly Nilsson´s <3 new song "Think Pink" :*
LOVE IT <3
dec: Love Parade vs. Berghain
this is just my opinion: Love Parade turned Berlin into the ultimative
city of love <3 when Love Parade left Berlin in 2003. Berlin
got left in a state of shock. that was the moment for Berghain
to grow and make itself the ultimative club of Berlin ... in the
world. Berghain did profit by that what the Love Parade built
up. But at the same time Berghain has been the complete opposite
of everything what the Love Parade ever meant.
it´s time to bring the LOVE back the Berlin <3
<3 LOVE <3 the real reason why I moved to Berlin in october
2003. now we are soon in 2017 and it´s time that the sun
of love rises again over Berlin <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 9 * <3 ALEXANDER
<3 OOOOOH* I met a bunch of wonderful Alexanders in my life*
pls let me mention those two perfect beautiful sexy Alexanders
from my time at school. and that wonderful artdealer Alexander
who believed in my art as almost no one did it when I started
to paint in oil on canvas (he died in 2015. may he rest in peace
<3 ) Alexanders have many faces ... and I love aaaaall of them
<3 :* <3 ALEXANDER <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 10 * <3 ROMAN
<3 the first BIG LOVE of my life <3 I will aaaaalways love
him <3 ROMAN <3
dec: my reaction about my BERGHAIN posting from yesterday ( I
made two, and now I´m talking about the one titled "Berghain
doesn´t fit to Berlin" ): I CAN´T BELIEVE IT,
THAT ... IN BERLIN ... I REALLY HAVE TO DISCUSS ABOUT IT, WHEN
IT IS ABOUT <3 L O V E <3 pls read the comments there! ...
but I´m very happy that most my friends understand me and
know what I´m talking about <3 Thank You <3 :* <3
dec: con.troll.ed yo.utu.be ... finally I understand it!
some years ago ... when I was around with my black leather mask
... I created videos on yo.utu.be. I had one video where I was
sitting in my bathtube, wearing my black leather mask. it got
watched about 20000 times within some days. not even my butt was
to see there. but the video disappeared ... got deleted by yo.utu.be.
I never really understood why, but accepted it. in the past years
I heard many such stories from other people who had fast growing
videos there as well and they got deleted too.
all facts show, that yo.utu.be controls WHO has success there.
they control WHO becomes popular there. obviously I did belong
to those people, they didn´t want to reach a bigger audience
I forgot about that story ... but today it came to my minds again
and it made me realize how it works ... when we are con.troll.ed
dec: * I got broken *
I got broken that many times in my life ... that meanwhile ...
almost ...I don´t feel it anymore when something/someone
I got broken by society, by public and private media, by best
friends, by famous and rich people, by poor people, by my own
family, by my own life, by my fate, ...
But nothing has been able to stop me ... to continue going my
way, believing in my dreams, continue working on my art.
(.... and I think this is because I´m a stubbern capricorn
born one =D )
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 11 * <3 ODO
<3 born almost at the same time ... our parents have been neighbours
... they layed us laughing babies together and photographed us:
he red haired with very white skin and me dark haired with kind
of brown skin. we grew up together, but our lives became that
much different as we optically looked like. he lives a life as
someone lives it as a straight man in a village in a forrest.
and live a life how a freaky queer gay does it in a big city.
but something will connect us forever <3 ODO <3
dec: 11th week ... the past 3 days I had a cold, therefore I did
a break, but since today I continue again with my workouts on
a daily basis at home*
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 12 * <3 RENÉ
<3 the moooost important person during the age 14 - 19 ...
YES! PUBERTY! ... within those years I lived in a college ...
the whole week. not to talk about being gay was a nightmare, but
if I would have talked about it my life there would have been
HELL! René was in my class and we have been best friends.
he was gay too and in similar situation as I was. we kept eachother
strong and supported eachother to finish the college. the first
three years have been the hardest. I remember how René
thought about it to quite the college. but together we made till
the graduation. he will aaaalways be in my heart <3 RENÉ
dec: :* did I mention already how much it makes me happy ... to
see ... how my paintings travel ... they are non stop on a journey
... and I loooooove it <3 ... Los Angeles, New York, London,
Prague, Vienna, ... and those are just some of the destinations
I know about ... my paintings are like birds in the sky ... they
are free <3
Thank You a lot <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 13 * <3 BRIAN
<3 ... in 2007 ... 2008 ... in those years I was praying for
a wonder to happen ... a wonder which should change my life. this
wonder came and happened when Brian appeared in my life. in 2014
he died. may he rest is peace. my love <3 BRIAN <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 14 * <3 PASCUAL
<3 I knew almost nothing about art before I met him. and without
him ... perhaps ... I would have never started to paint with oil
on canvas. Thank You Forever <3 PASCUAL <3