stories mix posted on facebook:
oct: <3 my mom <3 should find a STRONG BOY in Berlin when
she is coming soon* I haven´t seen her since more than 2 1/2
years* ... now I´m in the 4th week doing exercises on a daily
basis at home* my trainings weights are 4.745 kilogramm fabric coniditioner
oct: who is Pete Burns ? who is *Dead or Alive* ?
it happens that someone lives in a different world. not everyone
knows everyone and everything. Never in my life I heard or realized
the name *Dead or Alive*. and also the name *Pete Burns* is a name
which ... perhaps I heard before, but not more.
And now Pete Burns died. And almost eeeeeveryone is posting how
great he was. WHY PEOPLE DIDN´T POST THAT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE
then I would have realized him before ... before he died.
oct: ^^ swag ^^ life is a journey* ... 42 paintings for each different
year of my life* ... and "1997" is already in L.A. ...
as I said before "life is a journey" :) :* <3
oct: about my technique of creating my paintings:
I found it by myself. no one teached it to me. I worked it out and
meanwhile I mix up several techniques. and also that mix up is unique.
and because no one did it that way before, there is no "how
to do it". everything I create with my technique is done the
first time that way. with my style: portraits, landscapes, abstract,
... everything happens the first time. I feel like swimming in a
BIIIIG OCEAN where there is no end in sight.
this is why I produce and produce and produce ...
meanwhile I discovered, that there are painters in that world,
which paintings looks similar to mine. but no one of them is using
the technique which I am using.
this is why I keep my technique(s) as secret. a secret like an italian
pizza baker is keeping his receipt as secret*
oct: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... today I have chosen some pictures, when I photographed about
100 ... yes! ONE HUNDRED metal and hardcore bands ... in almost
every live club in Berlin* AMAZING YEARS <3 and I did wear the
mask on stage while photographing those great bands*
oct: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... watching about 150 000 !!! photographies ... means getting reminded
on 150 000 !!! memories* ... thaaaaat book is muuuuch more work
... then I thought it would be. but I love it, because I love <3
each one <3 who will be part of that book <3
oct: <3 Wish You Were Here <3 ... my life after Brian´s
death ... a life without Brian.
yesterday it was halloween and I decided to go to a party of Brians´s
loved friend Parker. Jared, one of Brians closest and longest friends
invited me to come there. Jared did DJ that night and told me that
it would also be a night dedicated to Fleetwood Mac´s singer
Stevie Nicks. Fleetwood Mac has been one of Brian´s moooost
favorite bands. he loved them and many times, when I think about
Brian, then I listen at home to Fleetwood Mac.
I wasn´t sure about it ... to wear my golden mask, because
I stopped wearing the mask with Brians death. only for very special
moments (it were about a handful of them in the past 2 1/2 years)
I wear it. on that halloween night I decided to wear it, because
I was sure that Brian would have loved that party and somehow I
had the feeling that ... on a way ... from veeery far away ... he
also "organized" that party.
When I came there I found a place in a quiet corner and it didn´t
last long, when someone next to me almost "whispered"
in my direction "are you Patrick?". I answered "yes",
but it needed a while till I recognized him, because he did wear
a very wonderful extravagant halloween outfit. I was very happy
to meet him, because we shared many beautiful moments together ...
together with Brian. he continued talking ... with a slow, sad voice
"good to see you again with mask. ... it has been a long time
today I realized that for other people it feels like it happened
a long time ago. but for me it feels like as if it was yesterday.
I wasn´t able to find any distance ... from my years with
Brian ... till now. I know that I have to learn to live without
Brian, but it is very painful.
oct: okokok ... still faaaaar away from a muscle six-pack =P buuuut
I´m working on it* ... now in the 5th week doing exercises
on a daily basis*
oct: there is the NEW category "openings/presentations"
on my blog. since I stopped going for hard partying to BULLbar up
to 4times a week between october 2015 - september 2016 ... I have
time now *YEAHS* ... and I´m completely sober too since about
8 weeks. after yeeeeaaaars I started again following invitations
to openings/presentations. ... and I can say, that I LOOOOVE IT
pls find some news on my blog:
oct: ^^ HALLOWEEN KIDS ^^
always I give them something when they ring at my door. actually
... kind of I wait for them to ring at my door. because I did something
similar too when I was little kid (what exactly it was, I will explain
at the end of that story). the problem is, that I wait for them
to ring, but always I miss it to buy something special for helloween
before. that means that I give them what I have here in my flat:
normally a big chocolate and five euro. but I tell them that they
have to share it. last year there were four kids who stood in front
of me and one of them was the older bigger sister. she took the
chocolate and the money and took care of it, that everyone gets
something of it later.
THIS YEAR there were about seven little kids between the age three
to five with two adults taking care for them, but they stood some
meters away. I came late to the door, and when I opened, they have
been gone already. So I screamed and waged with the chocolate in
the one hand and the five euro in the other hand. then they started
to run in my direction. when they all stood in front of me with
holding their plastic bags open, then I said (as I do it always),
that they should share it later. but somehow they ignored it, what
I said. one of them grabbed the five euro and ran away while screaming
"I´VE GOT A FIVE EURO BANKNOTE!" (and the operative
word was "I"). in that moment the other kids looked in
the direction of the chocolate, and I did hold it closer to that
kid who ran first to my door but didn´t give it to him. he
looked uncertain in my direction and then finally grabbed the chocolate.
then they all ran away and followed that kid which didn´t
stop screaming, that "HE" got money.
I thought later about it and realized, that they will perhaps later
discuss and fight about what to do with the money, but that kid
with the chocolate will perhaps have the whole chocolate just for
himself, without anyone takes something away from it ...
when I was a kid I lived after the divorce of my parents from age
eight in Graz in Styria (yes, there where Arnold Schwarzenegger
comes from). there exists a custom which is named "Frisch und
G´sund" (fresh and healthy). this happens every year
on 28th december and little kids beat adults on a soft way on their
asses (of course while they have their trousers on) with a self-made
rod. while doing that the kids say "Frisch und G´sund,
Frisch und G´sund. Lang leb´n und G´sund bleiben"
(fresh and healthy, fresh and healthy. have a long life and stay
healthy). then the kids give the adults a piece of the birch (I
don´t know the name of it, but it is that piece of the birch
blossoms, when they get hard) and the adults give a little money
to the kids. the good thing about it is, that the kids have to do
something before for it, when they look for the birch pieces. and
the adults get something which gives them luck and they can put
it in their cars or whereever. I did that (between the age of eight
till twelve) mostly on parking places of a big shopping center and
earned about 150 euro with that. that was a looooot of money ...
30 years ago for a little kid and I came from a kind of poor family.
my parents gave me love, but they had not the possibility to give
me really money. with those 150 euro I bought within the following
weeks: sweets, chocolate, also magazines for kids and perhaps I
bought even with that money my first LP ... which was Madonna´s
brandnew album "True Blue" when I was 12
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... today I´ve chosen some more pictures, which I took ...
such as this one of Ivana Trump during her speech at Lifeball 2009*
nov: *about Berlin*
the book "the story of Master Patrick" will not fit in
the book will be about glamour and trash ...
about hardcore bands and drag shows ...
about fetish and romantic ...
about royals and prostitutes ...
about parties and endless love ...
about art and politics ...
the book will just fit in one genre ... and this is: "BERLIN"
nov: *whooooiiii* ... and the 100th follower on my instagram ...
is a wonderful lady <3 ... who got attracted by my latest homemade
cake picture* <3 life is good <3
nov: MY <3 MOM <3 COMES TOMORROW at 10 a.m. to visit me <3
she asked me what she should bring. and I answered "some homemade
dumplings "austrian style" and a new pot" (she knows
the story that one of my pots got burnt when I felt asleep) I love
my mom <3 and I know that she loves me too <3 I haven´t
seen her since more than 2 1/2 years ...
nov: my <3 mom <3 with her first painting ... created by her
son* ... "1974" has been a veeeery special year* ... for
both of us <3 ... and ^^WOW^^ she looks amazing for being 71*
nov: mygoal: being another person tomorrow ... then the one I´ve
been yesterday* "nomoreexcuses" ... now in the 6th week
of doing exercises on a daily basis at home* ... and that little
belly is a very good sign* because it shows that I started eating
too again* ... mygoals
nov: this world needs mooooore artists and YES! female artists <3
I know what it means to have his first exhibition* when you are
in Vienna pls go THERE ^^ I know that lovely wooooonderful woman
Annemarie p'Art since about 28 years and I´m sure that her
art is worth it to look at <3
nov: just woke up* did I miss something?
nov: ... and what else happened today: I did bake an body exercise
supporting cake with joghurt and a looooot of Pitaya =P
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... most asked question right now: "when is the book finished?"
... original Berlin BER airport style answer: "first I thought
it´s done in september ... then it should be done in november
... and now I think it´s done in february" ... original
Berlin style :*
nov: btw: COPYRIGHT doesn´t exist for my paintings. that means:
you can copy/past ... share ... use them for your own purpose ...
and whatever ... ... as much as you want.
nov: homeless kids in Berlin
it´s f*cking cold outside ... and yes, we discuss about presidents
in America ... about legends who died ... about supermoon
and every day and every night ... when I look outside of my windows
on the street ... then I see them ... uncountable homeless kids
... most of them between age 14 till age 25. they have nothing more
than the cloths they wear ... the same cloths every day and every
night. jackets which are made for summer and autumn ... and not
for temperatures around minus 3 degree. do you have any idea how
cold minus 3 degree can be, when you need to stand for hours in
that coldness? and shoes? ... the same: they wear thin sneakers,
which let them freeze their feet non-stop. most of those homeless
kids spend those hours as couples: boy with girlfriend, boy with
best male friend ... and some are alone ... always. they need to
be here. is it here the only place where they can get sometimes
some cents or one or two euros from someone. and sometimes they
sell their bodies for 20 euros and perhaps once a week it happens
that someone pays 50 euros. and yes! sometimes they steal phones
from drunken tourists, which they sell for 15 euro. they need that
money ... to buy that little bit of food what they eat. they don´t
eat a lot ... just sometimes ... something.
it is very difficult to help them, because almost all of them are
addicted into dr*gs ... cristal ... and other cheap bad dr*gs from
the street. some of them are also addicted in playing machines ...
they need more money that much hard, that they believe that if they
put the only 10 euros they have ... into those machines ... that
they will win. but almost always they loose. how they loose their
lives ... especially in hard cold nights as tonite ... and winter
has not even started yet
nov: okokok* another <3 Brian-Tennessee Claflin <3 story for
you: before I met Brian, almost I never talked english. also in
school I was one the worst students in our english lessons.
Brian worked as english teacher in Istanbul before he came to Berlin.
when we met eachother in 2007 then he was literally my english teacher.
he teached me how to talk english. I used the same phrases and words
as he did, because I knew no others in the beginning. for example:
I just knew "good" and "great". all other words
Brian teached to me: "fabulous" "awesome" "fierce"
some months before his death I said to him, that I need a new word
to use. when I said that, then he looked straight forward thinking,
how a teacher does it. and after some seconds he turned his face
in my direction and said to me ... while he pronounced it in his
very special way ... : "glitzy"
it was the last word which Brian teached to me ... and everytime
when I use that word, then I think about him <3 ... and I love
to use it <3
*glitzy* *glitzy* *glitzy* :*
nov: now in the 7th week doing exercises on a daily basis at home*
... and: NEVER SKIP LEG DAY =P
nov: +++ WARNING +++ pls only continue reading, when you are into
spiritual and meditativ stuff:
it´s supermoon and for a hardcore spiritual person as I am
... this is a very special day. I grew up in the middle of the black
forrest and like every other person with a lot of nature around
... I believe and know about the power of natural things.
my day today was like this: taking a long sun bath to fill up my
body and soul with energy. (in Berlin we had a cloudless sky today).
in the late afternoon I took a long bath for about one hour. that
moon is moving our oceans ... and he is moving the water in our
bathtubes too! some candles, some cafe del mar music, a natural
sponge (oh yes, those sponges have absolutly incredible power. the
science is just at the beginng with research about natural sponges.)
and perfect is the situation to go into a deeeeep meditation. I
thought about eight or nine different things and let all the dirt
in the water. not just my body ... also my soul felt clean after
and now I´m burning some things on a hot coal. I have about
80 different roots, leaves, resins, balms,... here. (if you know
the power of a j*int, then you should try those things! not just
Cleopatra was in love with that stuff <3 ) today I burn Elemi
(a resin against bad energies), amber (some luxury for that supermoon
night) and Patchouly (you may know it from parfums. and yes! it
is for an erotic purpose, but also to bring the body and soul back
on the ground/earth). normally I wanted also burn Himalaya cedar
(for power), but I can´t find it*
then I will cut my nails on my fingers and toes. it would also be
a good day to cut or shave hairs. let yourself go into a new period
of your life ... after that full-moon night.
if you have questions, pls ask me. best on an open studio wednesday.
you can talk with me always about art, but about spiritual stuff
too ... and OH! of course also about cooking and baking cakes =P
enjoy supermoon ... feel it ... and take it <3 LOVE <3
nov: THANK YOU for being the first four of the serie "100 portraits
in oil on canvas Patrick Bartsch style*" LOVE YOU 4ever <3
Nathan <3 Krista <3 Mario <3 John <3
nov: THANK YOU for being in the serie "100 portraits in oil
on canvas Patrick Bartsch style" love you forever <3 Matt
<3 Johnny <3 Florian <3
nov: <3 one painting in oil on canvas Patrick Bartsch style FOR
FREE for eeeeveryone <3
in numbers: in my beginner years I produced more than 500 paintings
in oil on canvas. 120 got sold. and now I want to give away as present
about 200. if you missed the text I posted yesterday ... I put it
again here in the comments*
you can also bring friends here <3 please help me to empty my
storage ... to have space for my new paintings which I plan to create
in 2017* :*
nov: buuuuuusy checking out latest SADO OPERA videos on youtube*
WHAT A GLAMOROUS GLITZY BAAAAAND <3 :* :* :*
nov: ^^ 200 paintings for free ^^
so far ONE friend came here to pick up his "early christmas
present". I´m very happy that he came here <3 and
at the same time I´m wondering why no one else came here so
far* ... are my early paintings thaaaat much bad :( ... if no one
comes here to pick them up till end of december ... then ... then
... theeeeen I WILL EAT THEM =D
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... just brought 765 ... seven hundred sixty five ... photograhies
in the right size. ... and now I put them in the right chapter.
and YES! I let them aaaaaaallllll in the book. it´s not a
printed book ... it will be a book in the internet and HERE is enough
space for 765 photographies of Berlin of the years 2003 - 2014*
nov: Patrick´s inner monolgues: a life to the extreme ...
that´s the life I´ve chosen and that´s the life
I want to life.
exactly one year ago I spent every moment possible in Berlin´s
most infamous bar "BULL". between october 2015 and september
2016 I named that bar my living room ... up to four times a week
... up to 20 hours non-stop. I did those things there, which people
do there ... I took those dr*gs there, which people take there.
It felt like diving in the pinkest cloud ever. I enjoyed every moment
and was aware about the danger too.
in september 2016, when almost I burnt down my flat ... I decided
to change my life. since that time I haven´t been at BULL
once ... didn´t drink one drop of alcohol ... and no dr*gs
too. I became that again ... what is a huge part of nature: a workaholic.
being busy makes me happy and gives me the possibility not to think
about things ... things I don´t want to think about.
I feel good and healthy. I´m happy that I "survived"
those months of being out of control. I wanted to know it. I wanted
to know what it means to party hard on the edge. and now I know
it´s saturday night ... exactly 10.41 p.m. I will go to bed
soon ... so I´m able to wake up early tomorrow ... and continue
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... it´s not thaaaat much easy to handle 765 photographies
and 22 chapters* love them aaaaalllll <3 :* <3
nov: now in the 8th week doing workout at home on a daily basis*
... and yes! I have fun while doing it :)
nov: okokok* caaaaaan´t hide the news* someone <3 veeeeery
special woooonderful <3 wants to have ... in any case ... the
book "the story of Master Patrick" as PRINTED version
in english and german. ... and he´s doing everything to make
that happen! ISN´T THAT WONDERFUL <3 :* <3
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... wonderful Rosa von Praunheim <3 belongs to the first people
who believed in me as artist ... when I came new to Berlin ... we
worked together in different projects and he allowed me to portrait
nov: so far ... aaaaaaalll of the christmas cockies which I made
today got burned *hmmmpppfff* ... I hope I can make some not burned
ones till 3 p.m. when the open studio starts ... *ggrmmmllllhpffs*
but the burned ones tastes delicious* ... I will eat them
nov: <3 Happy Thanksgiving <3
I´m thankful for being healthy*
I´m thankful that my parents support my way*
I´m thankful that I may life in Berlin*
I´m thankful to be sober since about two months*
I´m thankful for every little step to go*
I´m thankful that yesterday a professional bodybuilder visited
me and helped me how to do workouts right at home*
I´m thankful that I may work on those two projects: the book
and the 100 portraits*
I´m thankful that I may life a life as artist*
I´m thankful to be a painter*
<3 Happy Thanksgiving to eeeeeveryone <3
nov: busy working on my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
... I did eeeeeverything for money ... when I came new to Berlin*
... at the long nights of the museums ... in the gay museum ...
body painting by Alexander von Agoston <3 ... I think that was
in 2005 ... and YES! in the book there will be the uncensored version*
nov: ^^ Null Prozent Zinsen ^^
WAS habe ich da heute im Fernsehen gesehen? Null Prozent Zinsen
auf Bargeldguthaben bei Deutschen Banken!
Das macht bei einer geschätzten Vierprozentigen Inflation ein
garantiertes Minusgeschäft. Wie sagte der Moderator treffend
"Jedermanns Geld wird aufgefressen ohne das man etwas dafür
... und zu diesem Zeitpunkt möchte ich als Alternative AUCH
die Investition in Kunst ins Spiel bringen. Also die Gewinnerwartungen
in meinem Fall sind auf jeden Fall gegeben. So wie ich Kunst präsentiere
... auf eine schrille, aggressive Art (weil mir das so einfach Spaß
macht), wird man garnicht darum herumkommen ... um vor allem nach
meinem Tod (wann auch immer das sein mag) ... daß der Kunstwelt
klar wird was ich da eigentlich in Berlin getrieben habe UND dazu
(geplante) mehrere tausend (mittlerweile bin ich bei über 500)
Gemälde in Öl auf Leinwand hinterlassen habe. Die Gesellschaft
(und besonders die Inhaber von meinen Gemälden) werden sich
über Geschichten wie, daß ich "200 Gemälde
zum Verschenken angeboten hatte und so gut wie niemand eines abholte..."
... krumm lachen. Ja, das werden die Geschichten sein welche dafür
verantwortlich sein werden daß meine Gemälde in Zukunft
... vermutlich garantiert ... um einiges mehr wert sein werden als
die 30 bis 40 euro (für die meisten), welche ich heute ...
dieser Tage ... dafür verlange. Somit bekommt man wohl (höchstwahrscheinlich)
für meine Kunst mehr Zinsen als auf der Bank ...
... und JA! diese kleinen Facebookgeschichten ... wie diese ...
schreibe ich auch ... um die Leser in der Zukunft ... in 20 ...
40 ... 80 ... 150 Jahren zu unterhalten und ihnen Freude zu bereiten
:) ... und somit geht auch ein lieber Gruß und "KUSS"
an meine Leser in der Zukunft <3 :*
nov: ^^ PJ HARVEY ^^
live on ARTE-TV now* ... I don´t understand her music, but
I´m open-minded to get her* PJ Harvey was Brian-Tennessee
Claflin´s ultimative idol when it was about music. this fact
makes her a part of my life. when Brian was alive I was wondering
why it´s her!? and also tonite I wonder why it´s her!?
I will continue listening to her music and will also go to a concert
(whenever one will be somewhere) ... and I will ask myself ... perhaps
forever ... why it´s her ... who made it as Brian´s
I like her but I´m not able to understand her ...
<3 PJ Harvey now live on arte tv <3
nov: Patrick Bartsch´s wisdom:
^^ the three steps of success ^^ ... and they are ok the way they
first one: people laughed about me*. when I started wearing my
mask in public, then a looooot of people have been laughing about
me. that was ok, because they made me feel that they realize me.
only with "good friends" it was a little bit painful when
they laughed about me. but my most important people stood with me.
... aaand could be something more fun, than people such as wonderful
Tilda Swinton laughed with me together*
second step: people ignored me*. of course not everyone, but in
general I got ignored. by people around me, by media, ... this happened
about the past three years. but also that was ok, because after
years people laughed about me ... I enjoyed the silence which happened
when getting ignored.
and now I´m reaching the third step: people fighting against
me*. ... and also that step is ok, because after those years of
silence ... I´m really ready for some action ... I have enough
power to fight and discuss about my way of art and life. of course
not everyone is fighting against me, but the first crowd is already
on the start against me ... I can feel it/them already ... and actually
I can´t wait for them to come* ... means to me: 2017 and probably
also 2018 and even 2019 will be my years to fight and discuss.
... and when I made all those steps, then I´m finally ready
for some easy relaxed and chilled success*
what I want you to tell with that story, is: every step has his
reason to happen and the reason is good. don´t fear the way
to success! just go! laughing is fun ... the silence after is good
too ... and the fighting thing set´s all your power free which
one you gained while getting ignored.
Enjoy life* Enjoy success*
nov: 2016: a young man is wearing a skirt and people freeeeaaaaak
out^^ pls read the comments^^ my opinion is of course: <3 let
everyone life as someone wants to life ( Jaden Smith )
nov: "Männerakte sind selten in der Kunstgeschichte. wenn
sie welche haben, bitte rüberschicken. da freuen wir uns!"
sagt die Monopol Chefredakteurin Elke Buhr am Ende dieses Audiovideos*
Sososo ... dann meeeeeehr Männerakte liebe Künstlerkollegen/innen
nov: REAL PUNK !?
Patrick Bartsch´s opinion about: "Joe Corré burning
Punk stuff worth millions"
REAL PUNK would have been: to sell all that stuff and giving that
money to homeless hungry punks.
burning stuff makes no difference! BUT giving 100 euro/pounds/dollar
to a homeless hungry punk DOES!
and because almost no one does it: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN PUNK ...
nov: after the visit of a professional bodybuilder ... now I know
how to do workout right at home* 9th week*
nov: <3 Truman Capote <3 inspired me to do readings while
writing the book. he did it while writing his book "In cold
it will be the first reading in my life and it will be the first
for my new book "the story of Master Patrick"
<3 Everyone <3 is welcomed* see you soon <3 :*
nov: Truman Capote loves me <3
exactly 50 years ago ... on 28th nov 1966 ... the PARTY OF THE
CENTURY happened in New York City ^^ it was Truman´s party
... named "Black & White Ball" ... a party where eeeeveryone
needed to wear a mask. <= some hours ago I had no idea about
I just discovered it because I will do my first reading in two days.
a reading which is happening because some days ago I realized that
Truman Capote gave readings before he finished his book "in
cold blood". I wanted to know more about that man "TRUMAN
CAPOTE". this is why I check him out since hours on youtube,
so far the only thing I knew about him was that he did parties with
Andy Warhol at Studio54 and that he wrote "breafast at Tiffany´s".
While doing research today ... I realized why Truman is one of
the most fabulous and important writers of America ... or better:
the whole world!
it´s really mysterious that while discovering Truman ...
I find out that he gave exactly TODAY ... 50 years ago ... the PARTY
OF THE CENTURY in New York City ... and eeeeeeven the party was
about everyone wearing a mask. ... and I´m working right now
on a book which has as main theme: a BLACK & a GOLDEN MASK^^
perhaps you know that I´m veeeeery into mediation and universal
energies stuff. all those coherencies today ... tell me one thing:
that Truman Capote´s ghost and soul is veeeeeery close with
me while working on that book "the story of Master Patrick"
... or perhaps he just wants me to realize: that he loves the book*
"THANX TRUMAN <3 for that awesome day with you today ...
and when you have time ... then pls join the first reading I will
do (because of your inspiration) in two days ... on wednesday 7.30
p.m. in my studio :* "
nov: Patrick´s inner monolgues:
in two days I will have the first reading in my whole life. talking
in front of people has been a nightmare for me, when I needed to
do that in school. I stumbled, sweat, have been unable to concentrate,
... but my years at school happened maaaaany years ago and a lot
of things have changed since then.
this wednesday will be a day which I will remember my whole life.
it will be a very special moment, such as I had the first time a
full page story in a magazine, my face on the cover of book, my
first exhibition in Berlin, my first exhibition with my paintings,
the first time speaking in a microphone in front of 50 000 people,
the first night sitting at the door of PORKparty, the first night
in my own flat, ... ... and the first reading will belong to those
highlights of my life too.
most of all I will do it for myself ... it doesn´t matter
how many guests will join that event ... it´s not about a
"number" ... it´s about to happen!
till wednesday I will do nothing else than preparing myself. today
I relaxed and enjoyed my day with the work and life of Truman Capote.
tomorrow I plan to bake some vanilla cookies. will take a looooong
hot bath. will do some meditation. and nothing else. all of wednesday
will belong to the reading. preparing my flat and studio. will choose
the right cloths to wear. and will do eeeeeverything to be completly
relaxed till 7.30 p.m. ... when the reading starts. I will film
some minutes of that reading ... for the people who can´t
join the reading and for myself to have a nice memory in the future*
nov: "morgen: Lesung ORIGINAL *Berliner
Art*. in seinem privaten Künstleratelier liest der Maler Patrick
Bartsch erstmals aus seinem in Arbeit befindlichen Buch "Die
Geschichte des Master Patrick". Vorbild für diese Lesung
während das Buch noch in Arbeit ist ... ist niemand geringerer
als einer der bedeutendsten Schriftsteller des 20. Jhdts: Truman
Capote, welcher ebenso den Tatsachenroman begründete und auch
hiermit die Basis für Bartsch´s Buch "Die Geschichte
des Master Patrick" setzte. Ein Tatsachenroman über die
glamourösen Nullerjahre Berlins.
Auf jeden Fall eine Lesung welcher man beiwohnen sollte, wenn man
an dem Schaffen in Berlin ansässiger Kreativer interessiert
<= so oder so ähnlich sollte es in einer Berliner Zeitung
nov: ^^ Tatsachenroman ^^
Mein ganzes Leben lang durfte ich tun was ich wollte. Ich war immer
in all meinen Entscheidungen vollkommen frei. Das bedeutete aber
auch, daß ich meist äusserst unbedarft in neue Themen
meines Lebens hineinschlitterte. Ich machte mir nie einen Kopf über
etwas was ich neu beginnen wollte. Der typische Medikamentenbeipacktextleseverweigerer.
Meist erst in meinem neuen Umfeld hatte ich damit begonnen mich
mit der aktuellen Thematik auseinanderzusetzen. Somit habe ich vieles
... sehr vieles in meinem Leben begonnen ... und sehr vieles davon
nach meist kurzer Zeit wieder beendet. Jedoch ein paar Dinge sind
geblieben. Ich zog neu nach Berlin und wußte nichts mit dem
Begriff "Preussen" anzufangen. Fing an mit Öl auf
Leinwand zu malen und wußte nicht mal wie man richtig mit
einem Pinsel in Farbe eintaucht. Jetzt arbeite ich an einem Buch.
Schreiben tue ich schon lange. Immer wieder mal etwas. Genau genommen
liegen neben "Kleinkrams" wie etwa 30 Liedtexte, unzählige
Gedichte, Kurzgeschichten, ... sogar vier unveröffentlichte
Buchmanuskripte in meinem Lager. Mit dem Buch "Die Geschichte
des Master Patrick" werde ich einen Teil dieser Manuskripte
mit dem neuen Buch, welches ich bereits als Buchskelett fertig geschrieben
habe, zusammenfügen. Somit sind bereits etwa 500 Seiten quasi
fertig. Nun ist es aber bedeutend komplizierter und zeitaufwendiger
fünf Manuskripte schreibtechnisch ineinanderzuschieben, als
vielleicht ein komplett Neues zu schreiben. Jedoch habe ich mich
bereits für erstere Variante entschieden. Das Einarbeiten von
über 1000 Fotos, von welchen ich 99,9 Prozent selbst fotografiert
habe, erschwert die Fertigung dieses Buches.
OH! Ich bin wohl etwas vom eigentlichen Thema abgeweicht. "Tatsachenroman".
Das Buch "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick" wird ein
TATSACHENROMAN! Bis gestern kannte ich diesen Begriff überhaupt
nicht. Bisher beschrieb ich dieses Buch immer lapidar als "ein
Buch über Berlin", was es ja schließlich auch ist.
Jedoch jetzt eine Kategorie gefunden zu haben, welche zu den Schwierigsten
in der Literatur gehört, hat mich erstaunt. So wie ich über
alles erstaunt war, welches ich lernte als ich ohne jeglicher Vorkenntnisse
in eine Thematik eintauchte. Ich bin begeistert über alles
was ich bisher neu über Preussen lernen durfte und über
alles was mit Öl auf Leinwand zu tun hat und auf eine gewisse
Weise ganz neu ... jetzt: Die Literatur.
Zu wissen, daß "Die Geschichte des Master Patrick",
welches einen bedeutenden Zeitraum Berlins beschreibt, zu dem Genre
der Tatsachenromane gehört, fordert mich neu heraus. Die relativ
kurze Liste der Tatsachenromane auf Wikipedia hat es in sich: "Der
Kampf ums Matterhorn", Capote´s "Kaltblütig",
"Schindlers Liste", ... Ich bin mir dessen bewußt,
daß meine Thematik die Größe besitzt um eventuell
eines Tages ebenso in diese Liste der Tatsachenromane auf Wikipedia
aufgenommen zu werden und ich werde alles dafür tun. ... was
nichts anders bedeutet: als mein Bestes dafür zu geben. Capote
arbeitete sechs Jahre an "Kaltblütig" und ich werde
mir wohl auch Zeit nehmen ... müssen ... um dieses Werk ordentlich
fertigzubringen. zwei bis drei Jahre ... vielleicht vier ... oder
sogar mehr. Genau deshalb gebe ich bereits jetzt schon Lesungen
zu meinem Buch um über den laufenden Stand zu informieren,
Fragen zu beantworten und um die Wartezeit kürzer erscheinen
und wer es bis hierher geschafft hat diesen Text zu lesen, der/die
wird sich dann bestimmt auch über das ganze Buch freuen* Danke
Sehr* ... und viellecht ja bis Morgen ... zur ersten Lesung*
nov: Ich habe beschlossen, daß "Die Geschichte des Master
Patrick" nicht nur ein Buch werden soll ... sondern ein Werk.
Das ist das Mindeste an Dankeschön was ich dieser Stadt Berlin
und all den wunderbaren Menschen welche mir hier seit 2003 begegnet
sind und mir die Zeit meines Lebens bescherten, zurückgeben
Das sind große Worte meinerseits, aber wie hat es meine erste
große Liebe vor 21 Jahren so schön ausgedrückt:
"Der Grund weshalb ich mich in dich verliebt hatte ... war
... weil du das tust was du sagst."
OH* ... und jetzt bin ich doch taaaaatsächlich etwas aufgeregt
wegen der ersten Lesung meines Lebens ... morgen abend*
und ja! die Lesung findet in deutscher Sprache statt. Natürlich
mit englischer Erklärung für etwaige rein englisch sprechende
nov: Meine heutige Lesung wird einleitend
mit folgendem Text beginnen:
"Mit einer leichten Sprechstörung, wessen Ursprung wohl
in meiner überdimensional großen ... langen wie breiten
... Zunge zu finden war, welche sich meist unförmig im Gaumenraum
bewegte, bevorzugte ich es mein Leben lang eher die Position des
Zuhörers einzunehmen. Diese Jahrzehnte des Zuhörens kommen
mir jetzt beim Schreiben zu gute. Weiters bin ich dazu verstärkter
Legastheniker, welches bedeutet, daß ich mich beim Verzählen
... *ähmmm* ich meine natürlich "Erzählen"
oft vertue und dies meist eine sprachliche Korrektur verlangt. Beim
Schreiben tue ich mir mit den Korrekturen einfacher, da diese hier
lediglich mir, ohne jegliche Zeugen, auffallen."
nov: positiver Nebeneffekt dessen, daß ich mich jetzt auch
öffentlich zur Schriftstellerei bekenne ist: Das ich jetzt
endlich besten Gewissens so schreiben und sprechen kann wie ich
dieses möchte* ... vorbei die Schatten der Vergangenheit wie
mein Deutschlehrer welcher es hasste meine ewiglangen Sätze
lesen zu müssen und es mir schlichtweg untersagte lange Sätze
in Aufsätzen zu schreiben. ... und ebenso die Aufforderungen
mancher Gesprächspartner welche mich immer wieder ermahnten
"nicht immer so geschwollen daher zu reden".
JETZT als Nebenbeischriftsteller ... darf ich das! Es gehört
nun zu meinem Stil lange Sätze zu formulieren und diese dazu
noch "geschwollen" zu kreieren.
Es lebe mein neues Leben! <3
nov: Patrick Bartsch´s Offenes Atelier ist jetzt geöffnet*
Die Lesung beginnt pünktlich um 19.30 h* jede(r) ist herzlich
nov: Heute war die erste Lesung. Da ich während der Lesung
so sehr beschäftigt war, daß ich zu filmen vergaß,
habe ich jetzt noch schnell ein Video erstellt um die heutige Stimmung
festzuhalten. Danke Sehr an alle <3
nov: First public reading of the book "the story of Master
Patrick" Thank You a loooot to all guests <3 love you <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 1 * <3 THOMAS
<3 there were two important THOMAS in my life: both straight
and with both I´ve been in love <3 one has been my best
friend for about 25 years and with the other one I spent one of
the best and most intense month of my life ... yes* just one ...
only one month!
with both THOMAS I broke up the contact, because I loved them too
much. It hurt myself. I couldn´t get out of my skin. But I´m
veeeeery happy and thankful for each day and each moment I spent
with them together* Thank You <3 Thomas <3
dec: Patrick´s Innere Monologe:
was ist bitteschön "modernisch"?
Antwort: so etwas ähnliches wie "FREAKISCH".
<= Nein! das muß man jetzt nicht verstehen! "modernisch"
gehört zur Kindersprache. Ich habe es als Kind kreiert und
meine Mutter erklärte mir, daß es dieses Wort nicht gibt!
... und als lebenslanger VOLLSTURANARCHIST sage ich jetzt eben "DOCH
meine allerliebste Mama <3 ! modernisch gibt es! ... und zwar
ab jetzt mehrfach in meinem neuen Buch "Die Geschichte des
Master Patrick"! ... und dazu sogar noch "UNMODERNISCH"!
=D <3 :*
dec: Vielleicht die wichtigste Lektion meines Lebens, welche mir
meine geliebte Mama <3 lehrte:
Ich war etwa 12 ... oder vielleicht auch nur 11 oder sogar 10 Jahre
jung. Ging in einem Abstand von ein paar Metern Entfernung mit meiner
Mama und meinem Stiefvater spazieren. Es war es sonniger Tag in
der Stadt Graz wo nach der Trennung meiner Eltern ... meine Mama
mit mir hingezogen war. Es war eigentlich immer alles in Ordnung
mit meiner Mama, meinem Stiefvater und mir. An diesem Tag spazierten
wir zusammen durch die Stadt ... so wie wir es manchmal anfangs
taten. Es passierte auf einem breiten hellgrauen von der Sommerhitze
ausgetrockneten Gehweg zwischen einer vierspurigen Hauptstraße
und einem großen Autohaus. Wir spazierten relativ rasch, wobei
ich es nicht versäumte immer wieder in Richtung der glänzenden
Audi Neuwagen im Schaufenster zu sehen. Solche Autohäuser gab
es in dem 8000 Einwohnerdorf mitten im Hochschwarzwald wo ich bis
zu meinem achten Lebensjahr lebte, nicht. Ich war im Wald glücklich,
aber in dieser Stadt Graz mit ihren über 260 000 Einwohnern
ebenso. Ich lachte viel als Kind und sprang auch etwas herum. Aber
nicht so viel wie andere Kinder, da ich eher ein ruhiges Kind war.
Während dem Spazierengehen sah ich natürlich ebenso immer
wieder zu meiner Mama und beobachtete wie mein Stiefvater dabei
war etwas in meine Richtung zu rufen, wobei sogleich meine Mama
ihn am Arm packte um ihn von seinem Vorhaben energisch abzuhalten.
*DOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG* ein schier unerträglich starker Schmerz
durchfuhr meinen Schädel und ließ beinahe meinen ganzen
Körper zusammensacken. Ich war gegen einen dieser riesigen
viereckigen Stahlpfeiler dieses Autohauses ... schlichtweg ... gerannt!
Mit schmerzverzehrtem Gesicht blickte ich in Richtung meiner Mama
und sah wie diese bestimmend zu ihrem Partner sagte: "Sonst
lernt er es nie!".
Die Beule welche aufzog war riiiieeeeesig und irgendwie fühle
ich diesen Knall heute noch welcher seitlich auf die Stirnseite
meines Schädels passierte.
Meine Mutter lehrte mir, daß ich mich durch nichts ablenken
lassen darf und wenn ich die Dinge welche sich in meinem Weg befinden
rechtzeitig erkenne, dann wird die Chance um ein vielfaches geringer
sein, daß mir etwas passiert. Zumindest etwas welches ich
mit vorausschauendem Blick in der Lage bin zu umgehen.
Meine Mama ist ein wundervolle Mama und ich Danke ihr von ganzem
Herzen für ihre Erziehung, welche bis heute noch andauert.
dec: Let's talk about art, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
Let's talk about art
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 2 * <3 TINA <3
Truman Capote had her
Karl Lagerfeld had her ("had" because she died some years
maaaaaany others have her
and I have her too*
that one female best friend since eeeeeever*
"ever" means here 28 years
literally in good and bad times
always <3 TINA <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 3 * <3 MATHIAS
<3 there exist two important Mathias in my life* both are blond*
the one is my older half brother* I saw him just two times in my
life ... never talked to him ... but the day will come when we will
meet eachother and talk* ... the other Mathias is a supertalented
and wonderful artist friend* I´m very happy and thankful for
having him in my life* <3 MATHIAS <3
dec: INTERNET + MORMON CHURCH + MY ART
how do those things fit together!?
before the internet appeared on that planet ... people have been
left alone with their pain, joy, sorrows, dreams, ... It wasn´t
possible to say those things loud in public ... in a bus or in a
park or on the street. BUT in churches it was possible to talk about
such things. My mother became mormon, when I was a teenager and
she took me sometimes to the mormon church. I was phascinated about
that how every church service started: everyone who wants to do
it ... can go "on stage" ... and in front of all the church
members and talk loudly and in public about their pain, joy, sorrows,
dreams, ... . And because EVERYONE does it ... it is normal to do
that. those moments bring the members of the church together on
a very intense way ... and in a veeeeeeery good way.
with the internet WE ALL have now the possibility to do that too!
with the internet it is possible now! for everyone! and when we
all do it ... it will makes us feel better ... and for sure CHANGE
THE WORLD! we just need to get used to do it! I´m kind of
"trained" with that and when you read my postings sometimes
and look at my art ... then you will realize exactly THAT open talking
about my pain, joy, sorrows, dreams, ... I do that because I believe
in the good thing about that and want to motivate other people to
do it the same way.
we don´t need a building of a church to love eachother! we
should see the whole world as our church and the internet as a new
tool to make that world better <3
today I mentioned the name of my doctor, which is <3 Heiko <3
he does a wonderful job with me since more than 10 years ... and
I´m not easy to handle as patient ... with all my ups and
This year I create an advent calender where I will paint each day
a name of someone who made my life better* and I want to thank those
people and want other to know that wonderful peopel exist ... by
telling their names <3 ... 20 more names to follow till 24th
of december <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 4 * <3 HEIKO <3
YES! my doctor since more than 10 years in Berlin* of course Heiko
belongs to the most important names in my life* ... and he does
a GREAT job^^ THANK YOU <3 HEIKO <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 5 * <3 PATRICK
<3 my ex boyfriend :* he showed me what glamour in Paris means:
private castles, private luxury boats, ... and even a ride with
a Rolls Royce in Paris* he was 23 y.o. and I was 19 y.o. * GLAM
<3 PATRICK <3 my ex :*
dec: <3 10th week <3 doing workout at home on a daily basis*
"it´s just a ride" :*
dec: " Ich kann Kunst. "
^^WHOOOUUUIOIIIII^^Geistesblitz^^ ... ist mir doch soeben meine
neue Philosophie in den Kopf geschossen^^ ... "Ich kann Kunst."
gefällt mir ja besser als "Kunst liebt." (welche
ich seit 13 Jahren bisher hatte). "Kunst liebt." klingt
ja doch sehr allgemein ... aber "Ich kann Kunst." hat
einfach etwas seeeeehr persönliches. und JA! ich finde diese
neue Philosophie passt zu mir*
"Ich kann Kunst."
wie ich darauf gekommen bin? : ganz einfach: nachdem ich die ganze
Nacht gearbeitet hatte, jetzt noch etwas Sport, ein kleines Gemälde
und ein Selbstportrait erstellt habe, ... hatte ich mich gerade
ins Bett gelegt und mir die Frage gestellt, was ich denn eigentlich
kann!? nach ein paar Minuten Verzweiflung, weil mir nichts eingefallen
ist, was ich wirklich kann ... ist mir auf einmal "Ich kann
Kunst!" als Gedankenblitz in den Kopf geschossen ...
dec: "Was ist Kunst?"
... und weil´s gerade so schön ist, ist mir doch auch
gleich die Antwort auf die Frage aller Fragen eingefallen: "Was
Antwort: Im Moment in sich selbst und in/im anderen das Beste zu
erkennen und diese Erkenntnis wahrnehmbar (sichtbar/hörbar/fühlbar/riechbar/schmeckbar/...)
Das ist Kunst.
"Ich kann Kunst."
dec: <3 christmas stories <3 part one*
tomorrow I will visit an older straight couple original Berlin
style* they are poor, but they like to smoke a looooot ... chain
smoking* it´s always veeeery smoky in their living room. they
are very nice and make me laugh many times. I will bring them a
little painting as christmas present and will tell them that on
the painting they see the ocean, blue sky and some flowers growing
on a stone.
But in reality it is a painting of a grey Berlin street, where some
flowers grew out of a hole and in the back there is a blue wall.
My paintings are not always about reality ... sometimes they are
about dreams. and I want that couple to look at that little painting
and makes them dream ... dream of something ... perhaps they will
never see in reality in their whole life.
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 6 * <3 KERSTIN
<3 I had some girlfriends and with Kerstin I have been together
longest ... for about six months* she was 30 y.o. and I was 19 y.o.
... she looked like a fat woman jumped out of a Rubens painting.
we had sex almost every day* she was awesome <3 KERSTIN <3
dec: <3 christmas stories <3 part two*
today I brought 23 of my paintings to my doctors Dr. Heiko and
Dr. Arne Jessen and the whole team <3
they take care about my health since 12 years. and I wasn´t
always easy to handle. it´s the minimum ... to give them some
of my paintings as present. that´s my way to say THANK YOU
to my wonderful doctors
dec: my paintings look perfect to me, when ... I´m able to
imagine appearing them in a Luchino Visconti movie*
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 7 * <3 GUNTHER
<3 my mentor <3 literally he picked me up from the street
at the age of 19. he was part of the Austrian high society. friend
of Falco, Luchino Visconti, ... he teached me that the basis for
everything is: STYLE^^ he teached me how to talk, to dress, to eat,
to organize dinner invitations, create parties, ... and to believe
in myself by knowing my own worth. Gunther died three years ago,
but he continues living in me ... by creating a big part of me*
dec: art is: "At the moment, seeing the best in oneself and
in others, and translating these insights into something perceptible
(visual, audible or palpable), that is art."
*whoooouuuuiiiii* I love that quote which one I created yesterday*
I want to get remembered by words like those*
THANK YOU Jason Harrell <3 for that peeeeerfect english translation*
love it <3
dec: yes, it´s true ... I´m on my way to create a brandnew
person out of me^^ that means:
the way I talk will be different
the way I look like will be different
the way I dress myself will be different
the places I go out will be different
the style of my art will be different
my paintings will look different
my flat will look different
people who met me before will not recognize me ...
... even I will not recognize myself.
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 8 * <3 INGE <3
my lovely aunt <3 may she rest in peace <3 she made things
happening for me ... which my parents couldn´t afford. when
my aunt took me in a restaurant, then I was allowed to order a steak
or a second piece of cake. in those moments she gave me the feeling
of being "special" as human being. I´m very glad
that I had her in my life <3 INGE <3
dec: chicken soup, drinking a lot of tea, whole day laying in bed
and couch, cancelled appointments, not able to meet my beautiful
lover, ... OH* it seems that I got sick :(
dec: "Berghain doesn´t fit to Berlin" <= yes,
that´s my personal opinion. A place which JUDGES people by
their faces! by their bodies! by their outfits!
That´s exactly the opposite of that what my art is teaching.
Everybody deserves to be loved! Everybody deserves that their dreams
become true! Everybody deserves to get treated as everyone else!
always ... I was and always I will be ... against actions which
ones part of it is that some people are "not good enough".
Berlin is the city of love and Berghain is teaching the opposite.
"Berghain doesn´t fit to Berlin"
dec: btw did I mention aaaalready that my new moooost favorite song
... which I listen several times eeeeevery day ... is <3 Molly
Nilsson´s <3 new song "Think Pink" :* LOVE IT
dec: Love Parade vs. Berghain
this is just my opinion: Love Parade turned Berlin into the ultimative
city of love <3 when Love Parade left Berlin in 2003. Berlin
got left in a state of shock. that was the moment for Berghain to
grow and make itself the ultimative club of Berlin ... in the world.
Berghain did profit by that what the Love Parade built up. But at
the same time Berghain has been the complete opposite of everything
what the Love Parade ever meant.
it´s time to bring the LOVE back the Berlin <3
<3 LOVE <3 the real reason why I moved to Berlin in october
2003. now we are soon in 2017 and it´s time that the sun of
love rises again over Berlin <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 9 * <3 ALEXANDER
<3 OOOOOH* I met a bunch of wonderful Alexanders in my life*
pls let me mention those two perfect beautiful sexy Alexanders from
my time at school. and that wonderful artdealer Alexander who believed
in my art as almost no one did it when I started to paint in oil
on canvas (he died in 2015. may he rest in peace <3 ) Alexanders
have many faces ... and I love aaaaall of them <3 :* <3 ALEXANDER
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 10 * <3 ROMAN
<3 the first BIG LOVE of my life <3 I will aaaaalways love
him <3 ROMAN <3
dec: my reaction about my BERGHAIN posting from yesterday ( I made
two, and now I´m talking about the one titled "Berghain
doesn´t fit to Berlin" ): I CAN´T BELIEVE IT, THAT
... IN BERLIN ... I REALLY HAVE TO DISCUSS ABOUT IT, WHEN IT IS
ABOUT <3 L O V E <3 pls read the comments there! ... but I´m
very happy that most my friends understand me and know what I´m
talking about <3 Thank You <3 :* <3
dec: con.troll.ed yo.utu.be ... finally I understand it!
some years ago ... when I was around with my black leather mask
... I created videos on yo.utu.be. I had one video where I was sitting
in my bathtube, wearing my black leather mask. it got watched about
20000 times within some days. not even my butt was to see there.
but the video disappeared ... got deleted by yo.utu.be. I never
really understood why, but accepted it. in the past years I heard
many such stories from other people who had fast growing videos
there as well and they got deleted too.
all facts show, that yo.utu.be controls WHO has success there. they
control WHO becomes popular there. obviously I did belong to those
people, they didn´t want to reach a bigger audience there.
I forgot about that story ... but today it came to my minds again
and it made me realize how it works ... when we are con.troll.ed
dec: * I got broken *
I got broken that many times in my life ... that meanwhile ...
almost ...I don´t feel it anymore when something/someone breaks
I got broken by society, by public and private media, by best friends,
by famous and rich people, by poor people, by my own family, by
my own life, by my fate, ...
But nothing has been able to stop me ... to continue going my way,
believing in my dreams, continue working on my art.
(.... and I think this is because I´m a stubbern capricorn
born one =D )
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 11 * <3 ODO <3
born almost at the same time ... our parents have been neighbours
... they layed us laughing babies together and photographed us:
he red haired with very white skin and me dark haired with kind
of brown skin. we grew up together, but our lives became that much
different as we optically looked like. he lives a life as someone
lives it as a straight man in a village in a forrest. and live a
life how a freaky queer gay does it in a big city. but something
will connect us forever <3 ODO <3
dec: 11th week ... the past 3 days I had a cold, therefore I did
a break, but since today I continue again with my workouts on a
daily basis at home*
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 12 * <3 RENÉ
<3 the moooost important person during the age 14 - 19 ... YES!
PUBERTY! ... within those years I lived in a college ... the whole
week. not to talk about being gay was a nightmare, but if I would
have talked about it my life there would have been HELL! René
was in my class and we have been best friends. he was gay too and
in similar situation as I was. we kept eachother strong and supported
eachother to finish the college. the first three years have been
the hardest. I remember how René thought about it to quite
the college. but together we made till the graduation. he will aaaalways
be in my heart <3 RENÉ <3
dec: :* did I mention already how much it makes me happy ... to
see ... how my paintings travel ... they are non stop on a journey
... and I loooooove it <3 ... Los Angeles, New York, London,
Prague, Vienna, ... and those are just some of the destinations
I know about ... my paintings are like birds in the sky ... they
are free <3
Thank You a lot <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 13 * <3 BRIAN
<3 ... in 2007 ... 2008 ... in those years I was praying for
a wonder to happen ... a wonder which should change my life. this
wonder came and happened when Brian appeared in my life. in 2014
he died. may he rest is peace. my love <3 BRIAN <3
dec: *advent calendar 2016 in oil on canvas* * 14 * <3 PASCUAL
<3 I knew almost nothing about art before I met him. and without
him ... perhaps ... I would have never started to paint with oil
on canvas. Thank You Forever <3 PASCUAL <3